


CHOICES

by kingstoken



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-04
Updated: 2015-10-04
Packaged: 2018-04-24 19:45:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4932886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingstoken/pseuds/kingstoken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She was the opposite of what he was normally attracted to, dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin, and yet they had traveled half of Essos together</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I took this from the perspective that Jorah is forgiven by Daenerys, but his love is not returned. Could he love another? Also, Jorah does not have greyscale in this fic.

He was awake, but he chose to lay still. The early morning sun filtered in through the tent flaps. He could hear the sounds of the camp awakening, people moving and talking in hushed voices, horses neighing for their breakfast, the smell of meat being fried.

She moved in the bed next to him. She rolled unto her side facing him, smushing her face into the pillow, eyes still closed in sleep.

He still wondered how she came to be his bed partner. She was the opposite of what he was normally attracted to, dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin, and yet they had traveled half of Essos together.

She had been a Khaleesi once, than a member of the Dosh Khaleen. when Daenerys had returned to Vas Dothrak, amassing a great khalasar, she had offered to bring her west with her. Karcia, still being young, agreed.

That is how Jorah met her, just one of many new faces surrounding his Queen. Daenerys had forgiven him, and allowed him to become a member of her Queensguard. However, things were not the same, he was no longer her most trusted adviser and she often did not heed his counsel. She was constantly surrounded by men vying for her attention. He had often seethed with frustration.

One night, after an irritating council meeting he found Karcia alone by the fire. He found himself telling her his thoughts, about his mistrust of the council members, his resentment of his position and his unrequited love for Daenerys. She had comforted him, and that night they shared a bed for the very first time. The next day she moved her things into his tent.

They were moving in a great mass of humanity across Essos, Daenerys' mighty horde, a strange mix of Dothraki, Unsullied, sellswords and freedmen, plus hundreds of women and children. When she had decided to leave Meereen behind, Daenerys had said any who were able to make the journey were free to join her. It had taken many weeks, but soon they would reach Pentos, meeting Daenerys' ships, that would take them across the Narrow Sea, that would take him home. 

Karcia stretched in bed, than opened her eyes and smiled at him.

"Good morning, Jorah the Andal." She said giving him a quick kiss. She almost always called him that, like the Dothraki did. The only time she slipped, and called only by his first name, was in moments of passion.

She crawled out of bed, and began to dress.

"I will see about getting us some food." She returned a short time later with a plate heaped with meat and bread.

"You are still abed?"

"I find myself reluctant to leave it this morning."

"Then we shall break our fast in bed." She slide across the bed offering him first choice of the food.

"Do not worry, Jorah the Andal, soon we reach Pentos, and then you go home." He gave her a wistful smile. They ate in silence for a while.

"Tell me about your home, Jorah the Andal."

"I have told you many times."

"No" she insisted "you have told me about Westeros. I want to know about your home, where you grew up, Bear Island I believe you call it."

"Bear Island is wild, but welcoming, cold, but beautiful. I lived in Mormont Keep, a castle" she gave him a confused look "a building like you would find in Meereen or Pentos, but not nearly so grand. Bear Island was a good place for a boy to grow up. I learned how to hunt, fish, sail" he sighed "I only wish I had appreciated it more. When I was a young man I dreamed of going south, of adventure in far flung places."

"It is only natural for a son to want to see more than his father, to venture further a field."

"Perhaps, but now all I want is to return to a home where I might not be wanted." She thought about it for a moment.

"Even if you never see Bear Island again, it must be nice to know you had a home, and it will always be there. The only home I ever knew was my parents tent."

"What about the Khal's tent?"

"No" she said adamantly "that place was never a home." He had thought as much. She rarely talked about her time as a Khaleesi, and she never mentioned the Khal.

"I have know few enough places to call home, only my parent's tent ... and this one" she quietly added. She considered being with him at home? Before he could think how to respond, she had taken the plate and exited the tent.


	2. Chapter 2

That night they lay in bed together, limbs entwined. They had not had sex, he was too exhausted, yet he could not sleep.

"Jorah the Andal, what is wrong? Are you upset about what I said this morning?"

"No. I am glad you can think of this as your home, no matter how temporary it is."

"Not that temporary. There is the rest of the journey to Pentos. Then our bunk on the ship."

"Ha, in a cabin that we will probably have to share with multiple people."

"It doesn't matter. You will be with me and help me cross the poisoned water. And then it shall be tents again until our Khaleesi conquers Westeros and takes the Iron chair. So, if that is not a problem, what is wrong?

"What makes you think something is wrong?"

"I sensed it this morning, and I can sense it now." Jorah sighed.

"I should feel happiness, maybe satisfaction, we are close to our objective, but instead I fell uneasy and sadness."

"Perhaps because it is not happening how you envisioned it would. You are not returning to Westeros in triumph, as the Khaleesi's husband." Jorah felt an anger build inside him. He got out of bed.

"That is not so" he insisted.

"Oh, I think it is."

"You do not know the pain I have suffered, the sacrifices I have made."

"I am not saying the decisions you have made are wrong. I believe in our Khaleesi. I think she will usher in a new age." She got out of bed, and came to him, touching his shoulder.

"But, Jorah, these other dreams, you need to give them up, they will cause you nothing but anguish." He shrugged her hand away.

"You do not now me" he yelled at her.

"I do know you' she yelled back.

"You know nothing, and the only anguish I feel is that which you cause me." She did not respond, but he could see the hurt in her eyes. before he could calm himself, she had gathered her clothes and left.


	3. Chapter 3

Jorah did not see her for two days. His anger had long since burned away, now he was just worried about her.

He saw her on the third day in early evening, she was carrying a bundle of firewood.

"Karcia" he called. she turned at the sound of her name, when she saw who it was it looked like she wanted to turn and flee, but she didn't. He jogged over to her. She kept her bundle between them.

"Karcia, I was worried. Are you alright?"

"Yes, I have been staying with a friend."

"A man friend?"

"Yes" he felt a bolt of jealousy shoot through him "and his wife and three children." Relief washed over him.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"I'm sorry too. Perhaps we can continue this somewhere more private." He came to realize that they were drawing their fair share of interested stares. He took the bundle out of her arms and placed it on the ground, than he took her hand and lead her through the camp, back to their tent. Once they were alone and standing face to face she couldn't seem to look at him, she looked around and than began to pace. 

"Jorah the Andal, I don't know if you noticed lately, but I am different."

"Different?"

"Quick to smile, quick to anger, quick to be jealous. There is a reason for this" she took a deep breath "I am with child." Jorah's legs grew week. He sat on a wooden stool, the only thing other than the bed and floor to sit on.

"My child?" He asked, half question half statement. She faced him, looking him directly in the eyes.

"Jorah the Andal, you are the only man I have been with. The first lover I have had in many years." A child. He didn't know what he felt, shock, confusion, fear and happiness. Karcia sat down on the bed facing him, her face solemn.

"Are you not happy?"

"I am afraid" She looked off in to the distance, she seemed to be deciding something "I was pregnant once before, with the Khal. I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. He was perfect in every way, except one leg that twisted inward. Do you know what my people do with babies not considered normal?" she asked in a detached manner. He nodded, any babies born with deformities were left in the wilderness to die.

"I begged the Khal not to, I said in time the leg may heal, but he would not listen. When he took my son from me I screamed, and screamed. Later the women would tell me they had never heard such screams, like a tormented animal. Afterwards I prayed to the Great Stillion, I prayed that he would not send me another child. He answered my pray, for I never again bore a living child for the Khal. But now..." He got on his knees in front of her, his hands caressing her face. 

"Please listen to me, I am not the Khal. No matter what happens I will never abandon our child, I will defend them with my dying breath if need be." She gave him a sad smile, her eyes filled with tears, and he pulled her into a desperate embrace.


	4. Chapter 4

The council meeting was wrapping up, finally. The horde was currently encamped outside Pentos, and had been for several weeks, preparing for the trip across the Narrow Sea. This meeting like many before it was about where to make landfall in Westeros, and which noble families, if any, would be receptive to Daenerys. They were dismissed, everyone made their way towards the exit.

"Jorah, can you stay behind for a moment' asked Daenerys. They waited patiently for the others to depart.

"Jorah, what are you thinking?"

'I actually think Tyrion's idea has merit. Landing near Storm's End makes the most sense given the amount of people we need to transport. Plus, without Stannis or Renly the Stormlands are week and leaderless."

"Thank you for the advice on strategy, but that is not what I meant. You seem distracted lately. Is there something disturbing you? A problem I need to be aware of?" He was about to tell her no, when she asked "Is it Karcia?" He was surprised. He had never told Daenerys about his relationship with Karcia. The shock must have shown on his face, because she smiled at him.

"Come now Jorah,you of all people should know it is almost impossible to to keep such a secret in the Khalasar. She sleeps in your tent every night. It seems some of the men have taken to calling her 'Jorah's Khaleesi'."

"I'll see that it is stopped."

"Why? She may not be the Khaleesi, but she earned her title as much as I did. So, is she the problem?"

"She's not a problem Khaleesi, but there is a decision I have been wrestling with."

"If you share it with me perhaps I can help you with it." It felt strange discussing Karcia with Daenerys. It was like Karcia had been his special secret, but he guessed she had never been a secret at all.

"Karcia is pregnant with my child."

"Congratulations." He let himself smile.

"I had all but given up on having a child of my own. Imagine a son to carry on the Mormont name."

"Or a daughter, another she-bear of the the north."

Or beautiful like her mother." he said, more to himself than Daenerys, but she heard him none the less. 

"So, I assume this decision concerns the child."

"Yes. I am thinking of leaving Karcia here, in Pentos. The child and her will be safer here, and when the war is won I'll send for her" Daenerys furrowed her brow "You disagree?"

"It is not my place, but there are a few things to consider, she will not receive a such a warm welcome here, and may in fact be resented. I am not blind to fact that my giant Khalasar, as it has traveled across Essos, scoured the land, and the dragons hunt far and wide. Many will be glad to see the back of us. If Karcia stays behind she may bear the brunt of that anger. Secondly, we don't know how long this war will last, it could be years. Are you willing to wait three, four, even five years to see your child for the first time? Jorah, I intend to win this war, but there is a possibility that I won't, so we should all grab what little happiness we can, while we can." She had given him a lot to think about.

"What does Karcia think about this?"

"I haven't discussed it with her yet."

"Well, that should probably be your first course of action." He nodded his head in agreement. As he turned to leave.

"Jorah" she called softly. He turned "Do you love her?"

"I don't know."

"Why don't you know?"

"I think you know why" he said, staring at her intently.

"Jorah, you're my dear friend, and consider you almost like my family. That is a kind of love, but not the love you need." He could see she was sad that she couldn't be what he needed. It was in that moment that the scales fell from his eyes, and the image of his silver queen faded. In her place was Dany, his friend, and a girl he once loved.

"I think she loves you."

"How do you know?"

"Because, she looks at you like you are her sun and stars." This brought a smile to his face.

"Thank you, Daenerys" he said as he exited the tent.


	5. Chapter 5

When he returned to their tent Karcia was waiting for him.

"How was the council meeting?" she asked, as she flitted about the tent.

"Long, but informative."

"Did you get anything to eat?"

'I'm not hungry. Karcia there is something I wish to discuss with you." She came and sat across from him.

"Karcia, how would you like to stay here in Pentos?"

"Are you staying in Pentos?"

"No. I would continue to travel with the Khalasar."

"Then no, I shall not stay here" she said as she got up and paced.

"It would be safer for you and the baby."

"No, Jorah the Andal."

"But why not consider it?"

'No, we belong with you" she insisted. She seemed quite upset at the thought of them being separated, perhaps Daenerys was right.

"Do you love me, Karscia?" She didn't answer him and wouldn't looks at him. He went up behind her putting his arms around her, to still her restless pacing, and prevent her from leaving, she always ran when she was agitated. 

"Do you love me, Karcia?" he asked again.

"Yes" she said so quietly that he barely heard her. Then she began to cry, great heaving sobs that shook her whole body. He turned her in his arms and cradled her against his chest. He did anything he could to comfort her. He rubbed her back, he made sweet promises in her ear. Her crying hurt him, almost like a physical pain. When she was spent he picked her up and carried her to their bed, where he held her once more.

"Why were you crying, dearest?"

"Because I'm not supposed to love you. I knew from the beginning that you were in love with someone else. Now that you know, you will run from me."

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here. We have a war to fight, a child to raise, and because I love you, too." She looked at him unbelievably. He decided the best way to convince her was to show her. So, he kissed her, like he had never kissed her before, with his whole heart.


End file.
